PERSONAL CRAPOLA: I grew up on Elvis, KISS, and Gary Stewart in the 1970s. They will get my Elvis and KISS dolls when they yank them from my cold, dead, callused fingers. Unfortunately, Mego didn't make a Gary Stewart doll. I wanted to play drums like Ronnie Tutt and get a HUGE double-bass, blue metallic drum kit, but had absolutely no rhythm. Then I saw Ace Frehley and his Les Paul, and I was done for. It was years later when I finally realized that my first guitar hero was not, in fact, very good, and a total loser drug-head to boot. Happy happy joy joy. So I went in search of new six-string inspirations, and found EVH, Neal Schon, Steve Lukather, Tony MacAlpine, Ronnie LeTekro, Nuno, Dann Huff, Adrian Vandenberg, Mike Slamer, and a whole slew of other rippers and shredders to ease my sorrows and frustrate my fingers. My brother and I had a band in the Houston scene during the late 80s and early 90s, right about the time a bunch of dope-smoking, shorts-wearing, beard-having, no-talent, Pacific Northwest jack***es were getting busy killing my style of music. So, like the electric guitar and talent itself, I took the 90s off. Woe be to that generation, the poor, poor souls. Anyhoo, got our current band of fat forty-somethings (holy smokes, that's a good name for a band!) together in 1997 (The Unmentionables) and have been going strong ever since, particularly with the introduction of Garageband. It lets us still be pathetic pretend rock stars in the comforts of our own homes, thus helping us avoid divorces and the like. We play maybe 2-3 times a year, mostly private parties, so we have a Song of the Month club in the meantime to keep us occupied. We draw a topic out of a hat (actually the trunk of a Speed Racer Mach 5 toy car), and everyone retires to their individual secret lairs to produce a song with that topic as the inspiration. Thus were born many of the tunes here. You can check out some of my bandmates here on iCompositions, including KipCanaveral, TripFandango, and KnievelJump. They are way more talented and well-rounded than me, particularly in the singing department (they can, and I can't). We also have a parody band called, ironically enough, The Parody Brothers. You can get our album on iTunes, and also check us out here on iCompositions as TheParodyBrothers, or at
www.myspace.com/theparodybrothers
GEAR: All of these songs were played using a combination of a Dean ML with EMGs, Dean Cadillac with stock pickups, stock Ibanez RG (owned by TripFandango), and an ancient Yamaha cheapo bass that could withstand a hurricane and still stay in tune. For percussion, I mostly use the Drums on Demand series of loops, which I cannot recommend highly enough for all styles of music. I use an M-Audio MobilePre-USB for input into the G5, and an M-Audio Keystation 49 keyboard, which I also highly recommend for those seeking effective budget gear. Vocals are through an SM57, but no mic could save the songs I sing on. Hope you enjoy these songs, for a good laugh, at the very least. What you can do with Garageband and a crappy keyboard these days is nothing short of miraculous, considering the slop our bands used to get charged for at "real" studios. Thanks very much, and I hope we passed the audition.
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