The Same Old Rutty Road.
August 2, 2011 | 12:30 am

July 2006.

This blog began with a dare:
it came in an email to me from my oldest, best friend and was prompted by my usual gripe about not having enough money, no recognition, no fame&fortune, blah, blah, blah!
so here it is:

" I don't know why it has to be this way for anybody else, but it has to be this way for you because you do not ask for what you want or need, and you dishonor your genius by exercising it on the cheap. There is help to be had IF YOU ASK FOR IT, and that's the not-doing-it-all-by-yourself part. You have not allowed anyone ELSE in on your dirty little secret, which is your music genius. You have to exhibit respect for your music by asking for help in producing it. Please, sir, I want some more abuse; abuse me, and dishonor my music. Your mother happily complies. No one else agrees with her, but they don't get the chance to say so, or to help get it out into the world. Modesty is self-denial and there is no virtue or honor in self-denial.

Stand up! Make music.


And the Darer answered:

"....I do firmly believe that each person's genius is only acknowledged to the degree that its creator himself honors it.

Self-denial is a far too common ailment in the Arts, perhaps in the world, and somebody's got to blow the whistle on it. It stops way too many people in their creative tracks. It's a sin, it's the first and worst sin, and engenders most of the rest of them."


And that was July of 2006. five summers ago.

and I wrote more music.
and I worked three jobs.
and I made a CD and it's all over the web.
and I conducted concerts and went on tours.

I post my music on composer's websites and in facebook and YouTube. and read the comments and am reassured - but not quite convinced... these are not benchmarks or accolades or even compliments - it's all just stuff to pretend I'm the genius I aspire to be.

Now - shut up and write the music. Copy it. Edit it. Proof it and edit it again. Finish - for God's sake, just finish it. Then we can go on.



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'Stand up! Make music.' I like the ethos and I love the bravery.
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