Babies








Babies
 
Nina
sits
in her living room; a baby in a baby rocker/chair down at her
feet. Baby
is doing poops. Baby has screwed up reddened face.
 
Nina:
Aw
is Baby Rowan doing a poopy doopy!
 
Next
door
neighbour; Janice walks in & gives a curious look. Nina is a
little
embarrassed.
 
Janice:
Too
much baby time I see
 
Janice
smiles
disarmingly.
 
Babies
 
Babies
have
a habit of changing our lives. A habit of
changing who
we are. They make us look at ourselves differently. We look upon
them
knowing that we were once that young small & vulnerable. We look at
them
knowing that one day they'll grow up & think themselves oh so
clever &
that they'll be full of verve and gusto wanting to prove that they are
the
greatest
 
Here
in
England we have a curious little circus; a support network of
Mid-wives
& maternity units & health visitors, all under the umbrella of
the NHS,
that wonderful legacy of the 1950's Labour government, that NHS that is
always
under pressure to cut costs whilst at the same time deliver 1st class
health
care. The NHS healthier in London
possesses a
slightly off-hand, we're taking charge, you're in & now you will go
here,
then you will do this and then go there & then do the other! Still
who
would fault the team that brought their baby into this world healthily
and
smoothly? Me! Pompous know it all control freaks. Moving on; we have a
mid
wife, a gentleman who is knowledgeable and thorough, chirpy and a touch
overbearing. Then the horror of horrors! The health visitor! Well with
our
first son, born in Cambridgeshire, we didn't meet any health visitor.
The last
time I'd heard the term Health visitor was when my older brother had a
string
of kids at a young age & he & his partner weren't coping well!
The
health visitor arrived un-announced, parked awkwardly & wanted to
know if
we had any dubious foreign diseases due to my wife being Asian! My wife
was
born in Barnet! I astounded the health visitor by being supportive to
my wife
& by taking the crying baby, quieting him! The health visitor
seemed to
determine that my wife & I "went at it like rabbits" & as
such offered us an endless array of contraception, the likes of which,
I'd not
really dreamed about (I'd tried not to think of such things perhaps a
truer
statement). There's injections that can
give you unsightly
lumps, implants! How erotic! I wouldn't dare to go near this new cyborg
of a
wife, perhaps the disgust factor is the measure of success for this
society's
odd take on contraception!
 
 
 
 

 
Baby
Rowan & the tale of the
lost rainbow dummy
 
Baby
Rowan a tale of two parents
 
Super
Baby Rowan, he's here to
save the day
Super
Baby Rowan, our rescuer's
on his way!
Baby
Rowan! The greatest super
baby of them all... ever! ... bar none!
 
Baby
Rowan slips out of his KangaRocka, rolls
across the floor commando style &
is surreptitiously sick in his mum's shoe!
In
walks Dad, realising Baby Rowan's
on the loose & exclaiming imperatives;






Baby Rowan must always be
strapped in securely

Baby
Rowan
should not be left
alone
Baby
Rowan...
Well
Baby
Rowan, Adventure Baby
will always
find a way.
 
Baby
Rowan
and the legend of the
lost Booby!
 
Rowan
felt
himself picked up;
 
"Ooh
Booby
time" was
his thought. But try as he
might, no matter how much sucky face
& swift








head side to side movements he made, there was no
booby to be found!
 
It was
then he was to hear the
monotonous tone of the man with the M on his head and the big nose bone,
Fidget
swivel squelchy bum and
the curious sound of poppers undone, all at once, all
began to sense, the curious smell of the nappy change!
 
 
















 






 
Baby Metal!
 
AB/CD
 
Teat seeker!
 
I’m a
teat seeker!
Screaming
down the house!
I’m a
Teat seeker!
I just
need someone to hold me
I just
need someone to feed me now!
FEED ME
NOW!
 
 
 
Babies No more
 
We care a lot!
 
We care a lot, about
the baby nappies, infacol & vests
We care a lot, about
the tumble dryer’ll shrink & stretch
the baby
vests
We care a lot about
the people, we care a lot about you
We care a lot about
the people who coo & whee & gleen
Oh how much about
our life our thoughts our dreams the NAPPY CHANGE!
Oh it’s a dirty job,
but someone’s gotta do it
Oh it’s a dirty job,
but someone’s gotta do it










Out of nowhere
 
She
looks sublime & she’s easily the best (match for me)
She
came into my life & caused me so much glee
 
But
then you came from out of nowhere
Wohaooo wo oh
You
call us your mum & your dad
 
They’re
our
names sincere
Cos
what names is there?
Don’t
know
if I’ll let you cry
Our’
names
sincere
Cos
what names is  there?
&
we
hurt if you cry!!!!!!!





 




 
 
 
Baby Rock’n’Roll
 
Been a long time since we had
baby Rock’n’Roll,
Been a long time, been a long
time,
but now we’ve got Rowan, Rowan
Rowan Rock and Roll
 
 
 
 
Adventure baby
 










Adventure baby’s on his way
Blues & twos all the way
Weaving in & out
The ambulances horn blares out
let us through, adventure baby’s on his way
he’s got to arrive safe
he’s got to get through
Adventure baby, come what may
 





 



         
 
Danger
Dad!
 
Dad has to go in the
lift, but the lift ceiling catches his attention.
The lift ceiling has
brightly coloured spots small but very bright lights…
Oh no, he looks up is
blinded….
“Spot blinded”, the lift door opens and;
“Danger Dad” stumbles
out, arms flailing in front of him,
the woman
thinking he’s making a grab for her
screams!










 
G
T
G
o  h o
r  e o
a     d
n









 







 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Goran the Good takes a trip to see Rowan at G.O.S.H
& we think we may get
rained upon; Splosh!
But Goran
is good,
Goran is strong
Did Goran
remember to bring his games along?
 
 
 
 
 

 
Welcome
to
the playpen
 
Welcome
to
the playpen, we’ve got fun & games
We’ve
got
everything you could want
But
we
don’t yet know their names
We
are
the babies & we cry, whenever we want feed
&
you
can have anything you want, but you’d better not take that dummy
from me
In
the
playpen, welcome to the playpen
&
you’ll
know about it when we want our feed scream, scream
You
just
watch me turn green!
 
Welcome
to
the playpen
We’ll
take
it day by day
Learn
to
live like a baby yeah in the playpen where we play
We
are
the babies that you’ll find
Whenever
we
want feed
&
if
you want your sleep, well mummy
that
don’t make much difference
to me
in
the playpen, welcome
to the playpen
I’m
gonna scream this house down… good











About me....


About Me.......

I'm 35, married, with two children.

I'm a writer, not overly successful, but still one day soon perhaps.

My writing career is just beginning and I am currently trying to find
my niche.

I like the idea of scriptwriting, my first one being "I met the
Prodigy" which is a radio play, it got nowhere!

My second attempt, "The writer" a screenplay for the Kaos BSSC
screenplay competition got through the first round!

My third attempt, "Big Red Lipstick Lips" got through the second round
of the Kaos BSSC screenplay competition

So I guess I'm getting better!

Perhaps I'll do just as well with my Timelord game...

I work part time for a well known large department store.

I enjoy films, my favourite genre being "Heavy going psychological
sci-fi thrillers"

I enjoy taking on pseudonyms such as;

djamaladineabdujaporov (cyclist from Khazakstan, I believe I spell the
name a little incorrectly, but I'm happy as this is now my name)

VassiliZaitsev (sniper hero from World War 2)

Dr.Mangga (Filipino, is the same as Dr.Mango)



Shaktiman (sometimes considered that it should be spelt sahktiman, and
the second variant is indeed my name on icompositions!)



& my latest incarnation;

imaginer (because imagine is what I do(sometimes known as daydreaming))

Mousse-T responded to me.... over Facebook, but personally :)

February 8, 2010

1000 PLAYS!!!!!

January 19, 2010

Adventure Baby

December 10, 2009

5 stars, few plays, no stars, most plays

December 4, 2009

My entry for the Mousse T & Suzie "All Night Long" remix contest

November 25, 2009

Title	Genre	Released	Plays
Ready 4 This	House	Mar 2, 2010	90
WithTheSecondBirthComesEvenMoreJoy&Contentment	Ambient	Mar 17, 2009	628
IANR	Hip Hop/Rap	Jan 26, 2009	260
& The Olympics are on in the Background	Folk	Aug 14, 2008	449
I am a pasty boy	Alternative	Mar 25, 2008	386
Heaters Work	Alternative	Mar 10, 2008	332
TheMonsters	Alternative	Aug 24, 2007	476
Priya	Ambient	May 1, 2007	544
Waddle	Electronica	Nov 28, 2006	562
Revenge of the Robotic Gay Cowboys (ROTRGC)	Electronica	Oct 17, 2006	599
SpaceChoir	Electronica	Oct 17, 2006	440
Dunno, Indian	Ambient	Oct 17, 2006	443
Robotic	Ambient	Oct 12, 2006	345
Mars Party	Ambient	Oct 12, 2006	428
Crazy Christmas	Electronica	Oct 12, 2006	481
WhatDoYouWant?	Hip Hop/Rap	Oct 11, 2006	1074
FunkySciFi	Ambient	Oct 11, 2006	891
DNSpace	Electronica	Oct 11, 2006	895

Title	Artist	Genre	Plays
kazoo 2	Lapskin	Other	139
Gastown	dirigent	Rock	357
Burning Bridges	martyrprojekt	Metal	684
Sideways Waltz	MickD	Classical	734
A Secret	vegetal [+1]	Rock	1221